What's up, my peeps? It's been a while since I came out with any original content here, so I thought I would give a litle update of my life. I'm now officially getting married in less than six months, which is both awesome and overwhelming. It's been pretty crazy, what with all the planning and such, and it will only increase in the upcoming weeks and months.

I don't have a job yet, but if you have any to offer, please let me know. I'm looking for something in the mid to igh six figures, but I'm willing to negotiate. Seriously, I'll take anything short of crack dealer. Especially considering it'll be a good eight years before Lauren starts making any real money and I can live out my true vocation: video game master.

Assuming that I make it to both of my classes this afternoon, I will go the entirity of the month of January without missing any classes. Not that this is any great accomplishment, but I have gone 22/22. Simply astounding.

I went to see Lauren this weekend, which was awesome, but the highlight of the trip was hearing Brad Paisley's "Mud on the Tires" no less than eleven times on the radio during the combined 14-hour duration of the drive.

Just a few things I thought about on the drive: Napoleon Dynamite-themed wedding, the inevitable resurgence of parachute pants, and the fact that no one in Illinois even pretends to pay attention to the speed limit.

Anyway, as you know, comments are always welcome. Remember, it's for you that I write this stuff. And of course, for posterity, because once I'm elected President, I can get this published and make some serious money. Of course, you're not gonna get any book royalties unless to holla back. So for your own sake and the future financial stability of your family, hit me up.

In lieu of any original thought, I offer a guest commentary on the history of hamburgers and the west:

Also, some social commentary on hamburgers (I read somewhere that the Western Angus thing from the Apprentice is actually being rolled out by BK). Did people in the Old West really eat deep-friend onions and barbecue sauce all the time? Both this burger and the Rodeo burger from BK have BBQ sauce and onion rings on em. I hope they did, because I just don't understand how those two ingredients automatically make something "western." If I am dressing up as a cowboy, should I have a bottle of barbecue sauce and an onion on my belt? I just think that BK is making a gross over-simplification about the West.

Interesting thoughts, indeed. Comments and guest submissions are always welcome, especially considering how lazy the editor is.