Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
You've always believed that you can judge a man by his handshakes, which is why you continue to denounce the theories of Stephen Hawking.

If St. Joe's could have beaten Oklahoma State, that would have been HUGE for my bracket. As it is, I'll probably finish out of the money. C'est la vie, as the kids say these days.

I was hoping you could provide some insight on the southern colonies.

Or, for that matter, the political transition in South Africa. Seriously, I could really use some help.

If you have some free time and are exceedingly sadistic, this game is pretty fun.

And if you think Nick is going to be Amy's toughest competition, well, you're an idiot.

The Apprentice analysis:

It was definitely time for Katrina to go. Although Amy did a poor job on the task, she brought much more to the team than Katrina ever did. Plus, she always whined about her ideas never being used, but most of the time, they sucked ass, so I'm glad she's gone.

Final Odds
Amy: 7-5
Troy: 2-1
Bill: 5-2
Nick: 5-1
Kwame: 7-1

I didn't know what was happening. Then it seemed like Steve fell out of the sky, like he came from outer space or something.

--Yao Ming

When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it. Probably, they gathered together one evening, slapped each other on the back and said, "Hey, good job."

I don't plan to get serious in here too often, as I was just planning to have this as an outlet for my asinine impulsive comments, I thought I should take the time out to say that as of this midnight, I will have been dating Lauren for two whole years! I personally think that's pretty cool, especially since they have been the best, most fun, most rewarding two years of my life. I really treasure our relationship, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. Anyway, I just thought I would sneak this in here. Happy anniversary!

Now back to Murder, She Wrote, already in progress.

Q: Why did John Kerry cross the road?

A: He didn't cross the road. He crossed to the middle to demonstrate his grasp of the nuances and subtleties involved in crossing the road, and was still explaining them to the New York Times reporter when the logging truck hit him.

So I bought Outkast's double CD, Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, last week. I'm enjoying it for the most part, as it's interesting to see the differences betwwen Andre and Big Boi. I do have to say that Andre is clearly insane; I believe that his vegan diet has warped his brain and driven him out of his mind. An example, from the interlude "God":

God...Come in God...
God Come in god
Damn your a girl!
Well, I guess the reason why I'm talkin to you tonight is,
because I've been doin' alot of thinking
I consider myself a pretty cool guy,
and I've never cheated on any of my girlfriends...
Well, except that one little time in Japan...
but that was just some head
And head don't count, right?
Ahh thanks god! I knew you'd understand!
Well, I just feel like...
Well, to be honest with you
God, I just need a sweet bitch,
You know I just need somebody not too...not too fast but not too slow
Cause I don't have it all my damn self,
You know life aint easy
You know you just want some body by your side
to help smooth that thang out, you know what I'm talking about?
At this point, I'm not bein picky
She doesn't even have to have a big ol' ass, you know?
Something well proportioned to her body
You know a nice lil' tail you know...
Wha??
You say you, you say you found somebody?
Is she cute?
So, when do I get to meet her?
Ahh god, you're the greatest!
Well, I guess I'll talk to you later
Amen!
I'm sorry I'm sorry...
Alady!

Anyway, the point is, he's clearly insane. But I would like to find out if head really doesn't count...


Just kidding, baby

As movies about guys falling in love with lesbians and trying to win them over go, Chasing Amy is by far the best. Homophobia rocks!

"I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. And it's not because you're unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it. I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But I couldn't allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I'll accept that. But I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitiation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not dismiss that - at least for ten seconds - and try to dwell in it. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who's ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it's there between you and me. you can't deny that. And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of."

--Holden McNeil, Chasing Amy

On a completely unrelated note, Andre 3000 is clearly insane. More on this to come.

Alright, I think I'm getting the hang of this. I'll be back with something more substantive in the near future.

Holla! This is my new blog site. We'll see how often I update it and if I get bored with it, but for now, this is the place to go for all the premium Ryan content you can handle. Old school!